Right after Charlotte died, I remember looking online for something special for her. I wanted something that would be prominent and have an important place in my home to serve as her memorial, without seeming dark and Gothic and negative.
I considered many things: a garden stone, a small statue, a plant....knick knacks seem to lack value, though, and if my thumb isn't exactly dark brown, it is at least a concerning sickly olive color. Killing Charlotte's memorial tree or bush or flower just seemed far too darkly symbolic.
I finally decided on a wind chime. I wrote about Tibetan prayer flags in October 2012 as a part of my reasoning for choosing windchimes. Please read about my rationale HERE, as I love the spiritual and symbolic significance.
Every time the wind blows, I think of my little girl. I don't know what she's trying to tell me in those moments, but it's become my reminder to stop and step back and observe myself, my family, my life. It makes me want to be a better person. A better Mom. Someone an angel could be proud of.
I read a post on the grief and loss board recently from a woman who was mad about her friends at work giving her a wind chime. It actually made me a little sad. A tiny narcissistic part of me wonders if they got the idea from reading my blog. Silly, yes, but it was disappointing how much my most healing symbol became such a point of pain for this woman.
I want to be reminded of Charlotte. When the wind blows and the chimes sound, I can hear theM throughout my home. It never fails to make me smile. Charlotte is saying hello. She's always near.
I always quietly say the same thing:
"I hear you, baby girl. I love you, too. I will never stop thinking of you. Thank you."