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Thanks for stopping in. There isn't really a rhyme or reason to this blog. It's just what comes to my head as I go through each day. If something I say resonates with you (positively or not), please leave a comment. It helps to know that people care. Thanks for reading!

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Starting over...

I am having a very hard time believing that we're actually trying again.  I'm already tired, and we haven't even begun.  The finish line is so far away that I can't even see it right now...

Dear Charlotte:
   I miss you.  I didn't intend to write that, but it's true.  I think it every time I think of you, which is all the time.  I miss you all the time.
   I believe that you left us to protect us.  I believe that you knew you were sick and that you left us peacefully and painlessly so that you could be a part of our family in this way, since you can't be with us here, the way we want you to be.
   I believe you want a little brother or sister for yourself and for Mia.  I believe you're going to do everything you can to help make that happen so that your family can be whole.
   I believe you are so strong, and so brave, and so beautiful.
   I don't want to put too much pressure on you, angel baby Charlotte, but I really need your help.  I really need you to let us know that you love us and that you know that we love you.  I really need you to let us know that you're OK with us moving on.  I really need you to let us know that you're looking out for us, that your little brother or sister, who doesn't even exist yet, is going to be ok.
   I know I'm asking a lot, baby Charlotte.  I'm sorry for that.  I just need to believe that you left us for a reason....and this is it.  This is the only reason that makes sense.
   I love you baby Charlotte.  I miss you so very much.  I will never stop missing you or loving you.  You will always be remembered and loved and missed by your Daddy and me, no matter what else happens. 
Love,
Mama

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