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Thanks for stopping in. There isn't really a rhyme or reason to this blog. It's just what comes to my head as I go through each day. If something I say resonates with you (positively or not), please leave a comment. It helps to know that people care. Thanks for reading!

Thursday, September 27, 2012

A place for the things that need a place

It's always been in the back of my head that some day I wanted to get a curio cabinet.  I have lots of little wedding things that I'd like to display...the sand from our sand ceremony, our remembrance candle, my bouquet...etc.  The thing is, in the grand scheme of things, a superfluous piece of furniture like a curio cabinet took a back seat to replacing the wicker (yes, wicker) couch.

Then Charlotte died. 

We were faced with so many decisions in such a short time...the very last of which being what to do with her remains.  What does one do with the ashes of one's dead child when one has a toddler running around?  Seriously.  This is a problem.

So the question of what to do with the pretty, little, heart-shaped, angel box, the box I would have hated exactly one day before she died but then somehow found perfect as soon as I learned my daughter's heart stopped, forced my hand on purchasing a curio cabinet.  I'm actually OK with this.  It came today, and I'm really happy.

It was bothering me to leave her remains in her keepsake box.  I tried to get a nice box, a box that would give the mementos of her life a sense of dignity...but that wasn't good enough for HER...she deserves better than to be boxed away, hidden somewhere.  To do that is to lessen her importance, I think, because one wouldn't do that in any other circumstance.

There's so many times in this where I think, "I wouldn't do this in any other circumstance."  This is a singularly bizarre experience.  So isolating...so confusing....so...I don't even know.

Regardless

So I finally have a place for Charlotte's remains.  She gets her own shelf in the curio...her remains, my favorite black and white photo, hand and foot prints, and a little figurine of an angel holding a butterfly that a friend of mine bought me just because a few weeks ago.  It all seems like such a paltry little collection of things, but it felt good to give her a real home...one that puts her in a place of importance.





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