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Thanks for stopping in. There isn't really a rhyme or reason to this blog. It's just what comes to my head as I go through each day. If something I say resonates with you (positively or not), please leave a comment. It helps to know that people care. Thanks for reading!

Friday, August 31, 2012

Pictures of Charlotte

It occurs to me that there's no reason why I can't/shouldn't post pictures of Charlotte here.  My major fear in showing people her picture is that people won't respond to her in the way I need them to.  I get few, if any comments here, so I don't really think I need to worry about being upset by others' responses...as I am in my real life, and facebook, and pretty much any other sharing venue that I have.  When I told people about Charlotte, I told them I had my journal of my experiences that I would share and pictures of our time with her.  I told them if they wanted to see either, all they had to do was ask.  Few did.  So many fewer than I thought.

I know that it's hard.  People see a picture of a baby and they say, "Aww."  They see a picture of a premature baby and they say, "So tiny."  They see a picture of someone who has died and they say, "Such a shame."  They see a picture of a premature baby who has died and they say....nothing.  What do you say?  She's lovely?  I think so.  She's so tiny?  That's true.  It's a shame?  Hello, understatement.

People are so concerned with the "right" thing to say that they say nothing.  That, of course, extends to all aspects of this experience, but particularly with pictures.  Most people just say, "Wow."  There is no right thing to say.  There are, of course, wrong things to say.  I don't show Charlotte's pictures to anyone who is clearly uncomfortable with it.  If they can't see her as a beautiful little girl, as I do, I don't want them to look.

Still...I find myself desperate to show her pictures to people.  I had a baby.  I had a beautiful little girl.  In any other circumstances, I'd be drowning my family, friends, and facebook albums with images of her face, her hands, her everything.  Instead, they'll just have to go here...where few people will probably see them, but at least they're not hidden.  I'm not ashamed of my daughter.









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