I know that it's hard. People see a picture of a baby and they say, "Aww." They see a picture of a premature baby and they say, "So tiny." They see a picture of someone who has died and they say, "Such a shame." They see a picture of a premature baby who has died and they say....nothing. What do you say? She's lovely? I think so. She's so tiny? That's true. It's a shame? Hello, understatement.
People are so concerned with the "right" thing to say that they say nothing. That, of course, extends to all aspects of this experience, but particularly with pictures. Most people just say, "Wow." There is no right thing to say. There are, of course, wrong things to say. I don't show Charlotte's pictures to anyone who is clearly uncomfortable with it. If they can't see her as a beautiful little girl, as I do, I don't want them to look.
Still...I find myself desperate to show her pictures to people. I had a baby. I had a beautiful little girl. In any other circumstances, I'd be drowning my family, friends, and facebook albums with images of her face, her hands, her everything. Instead, they'll just have to go here...where few people will probably see them, but at least they're not hidden. I'm not ashamed of my daughter.