So, a friend recently told me that I'm downplaying everything too much...I don't like making a big deal about my pregnancy symptoms, I get embarrassed when people talk about the baby, and I'm just generally trying to keep my emotions in check. I know that this is a huge, big deal to me, but women are pregnant all the time, and it's not the center of everyone else's worlds. That being said, I'm still having problems with reactions. People are taking my downplayed attitude as though I'm not excited and I don't want people to say even congratulations. That's not it. At all. So what should I be doing? Should I scream it from the mountain tops and beg people to be happy for me? Should I keep on the same path and just take everything as it comes?
I just don't understand...how can people (especially people who know my past and what I've gone through) not be excited for me? And, really, if not excited, at least congratulatory. I went through a massive heartbreak and then almost a year of trying to have a baby. Now, when I actually AM having a baby, when everything is actually going well, and when it looks like I may actually get to meet this child, people won't share my happiness?
Maybe it's my own fault, in part. When I went through the miscarriage (it's hard to write that, I'm not going to lie), I didn't want to talk about it. I am a ridiculously private person when it comes to my emotions and my body, and I just didn't have the energy to talk about it. I think people took that to mean that I didn't want to talk about anything....ever. I don't know.
If you know me, and you're reading this, please....please just be happy and enthusiastic for me, ok?