So we told my family today. It seemed like a good opportunity. Everyone was together for a Labor Day barbeque, and we were ready to share.
I did not get the response I was hoping for. It's because the last pregnancy ended in miscarriage. My whole family just acted very nonchalant about it. No one really acted excited. I think they were reserving their excitement in case something bad happens again.
I DON'T WANT MY PREGNANCY TO GO THAT WAY!!!
I'm SO happy. I want to be happy about this baby. I want other people, ESPECIALLY my family, to be excited about this baby. I want to celebrate this child that I feel so blessed to have in my life right now. I do NOT want to reserve my happiness or excitement. If the worst happens again, which I hope to God it won't, I want to look back on the time I DID have with this child and see that I enjoyed every second out of it. I KNOW how fleeting this kind of happiness can be, and I don't want to WASTE it on fears and worries. I want to soak in happiness until my fingers get all pruny.
So, yeah, not what I was looking for tonight. Broke down in tears on the way home. Trying to move on from being disappointed. I don't want this disappointment to take away that happiness either.