Thanks

Thanks for stopping in. There isn't really a rhyme or reason to this blog. It's just what comes to my head as I go through each day. If something I say resonates with you (positively or not), please leave a comment. It helps to know that people care. Thanks for reading!

Monday, September 27, 2010

Achoo, achoo, eheh, eheh

I have a cold. :-(  I read somewhere about having a lowered immune system at the moment, which, coupled with school starting up (gotta love the germy kids), has definitely taken its toll this week.  Not pretty.  Eww.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Hungry or nauseated??

OK, new symptom:  I can't tell the difference between hungry and queasy.  Around meal times, I start to feel sick, but the hunger never comes....I'm wondering: Is my brain now interpreting hunger as nausea??  Can I not tell the difference any more??  Or am I really just NOT hungry.  I feel like you feel when you have the flu and you REALLY don't want to eat anything because nothing sounds good....but I have to eat, because I can't just NOT eat, and I think I SHOULD be hungry....right?

Not complaining, by the way....just confused.  I refuse to complain about being pregnant because 1. I've waited almost a whole year to BECOME pregnant, so I'm determined to enjoy every minute, and 2. I still have several friends on the TTC boards who would LOVE to be confused about hunger/queasiness right now. 

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Seriously??

I got poison ivy.  Mike's a cop, and he, for some reason, was tromping through the woods earlier this week.  When he gets home, he always crawls into bed with me, puts his arm around me, and lets me know he's home.  Normally this is great....HOWEVER....he apparently came home with ivy juice on his hands!  I now have a seriously itchy patch on my tummy and....get this...another patch on my boobage!  Seriously?!  Who gets poison ivy on the boobs?  Like they weren't sore to begin with, right?

And my FAVORITE part of this is that I can't use the steroid creme that cuts the healing time because of the Chicklet!  It doesn't appear to be getting better any time soon. :-(

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Worried about making others feel bad....

So, I spent a LOT of time on the TTC message boards in the last few months, and there are several women whose stories I've been following fairly closely...they've supported me, and I've done my best to support them. 

Now that I'm actually pregnant (still weird to write that), I worry that my presence on that board might make people unhappy.  I mean, I went through some struggles to conceive this little Chicklet, but the women on the TTC boards are still waiting...I don't want to make them feel bad, or sad, or angry....but I want to support the women that I care about!

Feeling torn.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Feeling euphoric....and freaking myself out!

I'm so happy it's scary...literally.  I'm usually a relatively upbeat person (though you probably wouldn't know that from reading this blog....sorry!), but I'm not generally euphoric and/or manic....but I'm DEFINITELY feeling that tonight.  My "Due in May" message board started color threads (I'm a green girl....due May 15-21), and so I feel like I've finally found my niche on the May board.  I'm also feeling queasy, which, ironically, makes me ecstatic, because it means my hormones are increasing appropriately...I should be feeling some symptoms right about now.  I also ordered some new maternity clothes today....Old Navy was having their traditional September sale, so I bought a few things.  I already HAVE a few things, but it'll be nice to have something new...even though I didn't wear the vast majority of it last year!

I'm enjoying the crazy happy feeling for the moment....loving life.

...Mama loves you Chicklet!!

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Thoughts on the naming ritual

We picked out names the last time we were pregnant (I say we, even though technically I am the only one that's pregnant, because Mike is an amazing husband who deserves to be included on that....seriously, he's fantastic, and I love him....more on that later).

I want to briefly share how we picked out our names, and then comment on names in general.

Kait and Mike's Name Choice Ritual:
  • Step 1---Buy a huge name book (I picked 10,000 baby names, but any will do, I suppose)
  • Step 2---Read every single name in said huge baby book (this step takes a while)
  • Step 3---As you're reading through the book, write down every name that you would consider (for first or middle names).  If you wouldn't consider it, it won't be the baby's name, so it doesn't MATTER if your husband might have liked it!  This usually results in somewhere around 100 names.
  • Step 4---Read the resulting list to the husband.  Any that he would NOT consider is stricken from the list.  This decreases the list substantially, and left us with approximately 20 names of each gender.
  • Step 5---Individually (you and husband both) rank the names in order of preference. 
  • Step 6---Compare rankings
  • Step 7---Create combinations of these favorite names that you BOTH like.

Reasons why I like this process better than the general discussion/argument over names and/or the skimming of baby name books:
  • You KNOW that you didn't miss any name that you LOVE and just didn't think of for whatever reason.
  • You have less arguments over a name that one of you loves but the other not so much.
  • You are working together, and it becomes a much more joyful process.
  • You don't accidentally name your daughter something that sounds pretty but means "valley of sorrow" or something similar (this happened to us, and we're big into meanings, so it got nixed)
So here are OUR names...announced at week 11 with our last pregnancy, but being used for the first time with this little Chicklet:

William Alexander LaPlant (William is Mike's middle name, and it means strong-willed warrior. Alexander means defender of the people.  Mike is a police officer, and so it seems very fitting for his son to have a name with that meaning.)
or
Amelia Sophia LaPlant (Amelia means determined and hard working and Sophia means wise.  Those are really the characteristics I'd most like my daughter to have, and I think the names sound beautiful together.)

We'd like the nicknames to be Mia or Will (Mike and I both HATE Willy, Bill, and Billy.)

Here are my thoughts on names in general....why is it cool to have weird names just for the sake of being weird?  Yes, it's nice to not be one of three Katies in your first grade class, but do you really want your child to be named Atiya?  Abass? LaRen?  Really??

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Go for launch!

Got my blood test results today.  We're a go for a May Chicklet!! :-)

Monday, September 6, 2010

I was hoping for a little more....

So we told my family today.  It seemed like a good opportunity.  Everyone was together for a Labor Day barbeque, and we were ready to share.

I did not get the response I was hoping for.  It's because the last pregnancy ended in miscarriage.  My whole family just acted very nonchalant about it.  No one really acted excited.  I think they were reserving their excitement in case something bad happens again.

I DON'T WANT MY PREGNANCY TO GO THAT WAY!!!

I'm SO happy.  I want to be happy about this baby.  I want other people, ESPECIALLY my family, to be excited about this baby.  I want to celebrate this child that I feel so blessed to have in my life right now.  I do NOT want to reserve my happiness or excitement.  If the worst happens again, which I hope to God it won't, I want to look back on the time I DID have with this child and see that I enjoyed every second out of it.  I KNOW how fleeting this kind of happiness can be, and I don't want to WASTE it on fears and worries.  I want to soak in happiness until my fingers get all pruny. 

So, yeah, not what I was looking for tonight.  Broke down in tears on the way home.  Trying to move on from being disappointed.  I don't want this disappointment to take away that happiness either.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Emotionally messy

OK, I'm at 4 weeks on the nose...it REALLY should be too soon for me to have symptoms, but my emotions just came unhinged last night.  This didn't happen last time.   If I'm even the SLIGHTEST bit sad/upset/worried, I'm crying...like, half a breath away from sobbing, crying. 

What's the deal with that?!

Friday, September 3, 2010

Acceptance vs. Fear

So, I'm mostly accepted the fact that I'm pregnant.  Whoa.  Weird to write that. 

HOWEVER....

I can't quite shake my fear that this is going to turn chemical or end in an early miscarriage at any given second.  I'm focusing on relaxing and being as calm and non-stressed as possible...but MAN I want this.  I want this SO bad.  It's hard not to worry about it.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Testing, testing

Taken many test in the last few days.  Not going to display the internet cheapies, but here's a series of first response tests.  The one on the right is from two days ago, the one in the center is from yesterday, and the one on the left is from today....notice how the line is getting darker??
 
This one here is also from this afternoon:
OK, I believe it now...however, I'm incredibly nervous about chemical pregnancy.  I'm hoping that I went through enough nonsense, and this baby I'll get to keep.

PS--MASSIVE back pain tonight.  Ow.  I'll take it though!  :-)