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Friday, August 20, 2010

Thoughts on sperm

So I watched pieces of a documentary yesterday about sperm.  In order to get people to understand how arduous a sperm's journey is, they had men and women dressed in white standing in as mock sperm and running a super marathon through a mountain range/swamp/etc, which was meant to symbolize the rugged terrain of the vagina/cervix/etc.  Now, granted, I understand the importance of explaining to people how the spermtastic journey occurs.  I get that, I do.

That being said, the absurdity of this visual is beyond words.  Here's a screen shot of the "sperm" racing through the mountain range of the vagina...I kid you not.

I'm left torn by what my emotions should be with regards to sperm.  Should I feel bad for them as they participate in their epic journeys?  Should I be nervous because so many don't survive the quest?  Should I be pissed that my men and women in white pants-suits haven't seemed to make it across my mountain range yet?

This documentary (which was a good hour or so long) also did little to clear up confusion about when to have sex to optimize healthy white pants-suited people.  Wait too long, and your men and women are old and immobile.  You can't get a wheelchair through the mountain range.  Don't wait long enough and you'll release too few men and women.  It's like the Oregon Trail....the more settlers you take in your covered wagon, the more likely you'll get farther than Iowa.  I'm mixing my metaphors (or similes...but that's just the English teacher talking), but you get the point.

Can't I just buy the sperm a plane ticket or a hummer or something??

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