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Friday, May 28, 2010

Not so zen today.

I saw on facebook today that Sophie is either in the process of being or recently was born. Not feeling particularly zen about it. My heart hurts.

I'm finding it very hard that I can't talk to anyone about these feelings that I have. I just want someone to cry with.

I don't feel like I can talk to my friends...because they're all her friends too, and they all want to be happy for baby Sophie and her mama. I want to be happy for them, too, but it hurts too much right now.

I can't talk to my husband about it, because when I talk about being sad with him, it makes him more sad, which makes me feel worse...and it spirals down from there.

I can't talk to my family, because I haven't talked to my family about any of this since the miscarriage back in October.

I feel completely and utterly alone in my heartbreak. I haven't felt this empty for a few months now. It's hard. I wish I wasn't broken.

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