I'm worried about getting through Mother's Day.
It really upsets me that I don't count on Mother's Day...I feel like I should. I know I was only mother to a child for three months...and many people would argue that I wasn't a mother at all...but I think I was. I loved my child. I still do. Doesn't that count for something?
At the same time, I can't MAKE people recognize me as a mother...even the mother of an angel baby. That defeats the purpose. If people wouldn't naturally recognize me, it has no value. I actually talked to my husband about it...he said (humoring me, I think, but I'll take it) that he agrees that I count as a mother, but doesn't think that it is something to be celebrated on Mother's Day, because it makes him sad. I guess that makes sense...but it still makes me sad that I don't count. My child existed...
He said we'd celebrate Mother's Day if we get pregnant before then...testing on Mother's Day morning would put me at 5 days before my next period, so I guess it's possible. I doubt it though. I thought God would cut me a break last cycle, and it didn't happen, so I'm really not getting my hopes up about this one.
*sigh* It is what it is....I think I'd be a good mom, though.