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Thursday, April 22, 2010

Mother's Day

I'm worried about getting through Mother's Day. 

It really upsets me that I don't count on Mother's Day...I feel like I should.  I know I was only mother to a child for three months...and many people would argue that I wasn't a mother at all...but I think I was.  I loved my child.  I still do.  Doesn't that count for something?

At the same time, I can't MAKE people recognize me as a mother...even the mother of an angel baby.  That defeats the purpose.  If people wouldn't naturally recognize me, it has no value.  I actually talked to my husband about it...he said (humoring me, I think, but I'll take it) that he agrees that I count as a mother, but doesn't think that it is something to be celebrated on Mother's Day, because it makes him sad.  I guess that makes sense...but it still makes me sad that I don't count.  My child existed...

He said we'd celebrate Mother's Day if we get pregnant before then...testing on Mother's Day morning would put me at 5 days before my next period, so I guess it's possible.  I doubt it though.  I thought God would cut me a break last cycle, and it didn't happen, so I'm really not getting my hopes up about this one.

*sigh*  It is what it is....I think I'd be a good mom, though.

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